How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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