using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
