Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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