Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
