i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
