he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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