She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
