The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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