I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize