You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
