You're my little dorito
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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