i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
