He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just want to make out with him forever
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
