Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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