I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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