Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
