are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
