then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
