I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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