I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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