M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
