you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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