a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize