im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
