have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
