we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
