It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
