Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
