TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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