May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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