I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
