Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
