Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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