Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need to calm my uterus...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
