We won't sleep together?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
