I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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