woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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