Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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