Tell her she can't have a vagina
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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