i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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