Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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