i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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