her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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