She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
