My cat gives me a boner
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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