Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
