But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
