I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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