We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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