He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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