After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
