I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
