So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
