white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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