Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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