we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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