my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize