I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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