dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this boner is exhausting
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You need a sexual gate keeper
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
