he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
