six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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