"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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