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• (530): View more from California

  You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  ra ra ra ah ah

  (573): View more from Missouri

  wtf?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  sexting lady gaga style

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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• (239): View more from Florida

  No I am not eating basil off your cock

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.

  (281): View more from Texas

  That does show growth.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

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• (938): View more from

  I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet

  (770): View more from Georgia

  What is my life?

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