what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.